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Front Page The best stories of the day, chosen by you.


[P]
Jetset Psychopath Pleads Guilty

By N0574 in News
Thu Jan 12, 2012 at 07:33:26 PM EST
Tags: FNH, murder, death, media, serial killers, news (all tags)
News

From the New York Times:

Joran van der Sloot, the Dutchman who became notorious as the prime suspect in the disappearance of an 18-year-old Alabama woman in Aruba in 2005, pleaded guilty in a Lima courtroom on Wednesday to the 2010 murder of a Peruvian woman he met at a casino. The case of the American woman, Natalee Holloway, who vanished during a senior class trip, remains unresolved despite being the subject of several books and television programs, as well as many lurid tabloid headlines over the years. The Peruvian woman, Stephany Flores, 21, was strangled in a Lima hotel room five years to the day after Ms. Holloway's disappearance. "I am truly sorry for this act," Mr. van der Sloot told the judges on Wednesday, according to The Associated Press. He bowed his head as his lawyer argued that he had killed Ms. Flores in a state of "extreme psychological trauma" brought on because he was "persecuted" during the Holloway investigation. Prosecutors have asked for a 30-year sentence.

There's a partial transcript of Van Der Sloot's confession here. Basically he caught her reading an email on his PC, elbowed her in the nose and strangled her to death.

It appears he was psychotically paranoid, and that could be related to the torrent of accusations that he murdered Natalee Holloway. Or, it could just as easily be evidence that he is pathologically violent when it comes to young women.

Full Story (15 comments, 381 words in story)


[P]
Fuck the Fat Acceptance Movement

By messybuu in Culture
Mon Jan 09, 2012 at 09:58:21 PM EST
Tags: Obesity, Fat, Acceptance, Overweight, Heart Disease (all tags)

Ms. Drive recently wrote a diary entry on the Fat Acceptance Movement, which is the movement that promotes obesity as not only normal, but healthy. To quote Ms. Drive, "There is no reliable evidence at all that carrying the equivalent of a grown man (or more) in pure fat on your body might put your heart under strain or be bad for you."  Sorry Holly, but that's bullshit. Heart disease is the number one killer in America, even worse than lung cancer, and what is the number one cause of heart disease? Obesity. That there is a movement that promotes obesity as an acceptable lifestyle to our nation's children is no less disgusting than the tobacco companies' attempts to advertise cigarettes to children. When I responded to those candy cigarettes they sold in ice cream trucks with "Fuck the tobacco companies!", I made many enemies, but I was vindicated when scientists proved that smoking is unhealthy. I expect to suffer the same outrage but also enjoy the same vindication by my next statement: Fuck the Fat Acceptance Movement!

Full Story (26 comments, 1136 words in story)


[P]
K5 Images of the Year (2011)

By N0574 in Culture
Sun Jan 01, 2012 at 10:57:02 AM EST
Tags: images, YFI, 2011 (all tags)

Over the past year I have meticulously scoured the entire internet in search of the finest images available anywhere on earth. The results of my laborious and time consuming research can be found in the following list:  

10. IMG BLOG OF YR: PICAPIXELS
.
9.  MANDATORY HENTAI OF YR: water water
.
8. DIGITAL DRAWING OF YR: Sadly, digital art is dead
.
7. CAMWHORE OF YR: whoever she is
.
6. NON-NUDE BABE OF YR: hotter with a bit of clothing
.
5. NUDE BABE OF YR: Ms Shiny Shorts; with honorable mention to an anon .tw-babe
.
4. COSPLAY CHICK OF YR: Erotic Cosplayer Ushijima
.
3. POLITICAL IMG OF YR: fuck the police (Guardian); honorable mention to CNN
.
2. GIF IMG OF YR: imgur's most viewed .gif of 2011; honorable mention to Optimus Marlboro
.
1. TEH IMG OF YR:.JPG Jet-Puffed Marsh Mallows (Kraft).

That's right folks, 2011 was the year of The Consumer. The consumer of 'various bullshit', and the consumer of images too.

Full Story (19 comments, 212 words in story)


[P]
I support SOPA

By messybuu in Politics
Fri Dec 30, 2011 at 02:28:40 AM EST
Tags: SOPA, politics, Internet, technology (all tags)
Politics

I support SOPA. To admit this online is the most unpopular action one could take on the Internet as GoDaddy.com recently learned; it is equivalent to admitting you're a Jew in Nazi Germany. The average netizen sees the legislation as the devil, but I look past the FUD and see the many benefits it offers.

Full Story (28 comments, 673 words in story)


[P]
A Brief History of the ASCII Penis

By Trollaxor in Internet
Tue Nov 08, 2011 at 11:39:07 AM EST
Tags: ASCII, penis, Trollaxor (all tags)

Man has always sought to create, and has indeed done so since time immemorial: mathematics, civilization, language. Some of his modest efforts have reached the realm of art, especially as influenced by the primacy of his ability to create. And it is that very intersection that we discuss today: the ASCII penis.

(From http://www.trollaxor.com/2011/11/brief-history-of-ascii-penis.html)

Full Story (37 comments, 825 words in story)


[P]
Warning: Beware of Sex with Eric S. Raymond

By Trollaxor in Op-Ed
Thu Nov 03, 2011 at 10:34:01 PM EST
Tags: Alan Cox, Eric S. Raymond, Linus Torvalds, Linux, Rob Malda (all tags)

Anyone who has had sexual intercourse with Eric S. Raymond and/or uses Linux should go and get an HIV test immediately.

(http://www.trollaxor.com/2011/11/warning-beware-of-sex-with-eric-s.html)

Full Story (22 comments, 443 words in story)


[P]
Ogg Frog Magazine #7

By MotorMachineMercenery in Meta
Thu Oct 13, 2011 at 08:30:15 PM EST
Tags: ogg frog, michael crawford, dicks (all tags)

NUMBER SEVEN  NUMBER SEVEN  NUMBER SEVEN  NUM
   ___  ____ ____   _________  ___  ____
  / _ \/  __|  __| |  __| '  |/ _ \/  __| #7
 | | | : |__  |__  |  __|  :_| | | : |__
 | |_| : [_ | [_ | |  | | _  | |_| : [_ |
  \___/\____|____| |__| |_||_]\___/\____|

NUMBER SEVEN  NUMBER SEVEN  NUMBER SEVEN  NUM


           OoO
 YES YES!  | |         __ __
 I'M   o__/  |       /(o_:_o)
 COMING `.__ \      (  ______)
 RIGHT UP   \ '.    / ( ===============
 YOUR FROG   \  '--'   \__|         o
 ASS!! UGHH!! \          (_        /|__ O
               \           `--....'     o
  .-----.       |           _____..-----O
 |       |.--.  |       ___'
=========:    \ |      /  /)
 |-(>)-(<|     \|     / `-/
 |    _) |  /   \    /   /|
  \__(__)| :     \  /   /_|_____  
  /O_____| :|     .      .      '''.
 | o     __)'.____\___|__/          |
 |  O..-'    \    |    \_____.-|    .
  \     _\    \  /|____|       |   /
   \\    /'----.'     __)_____ |  /
    \\         |      __)      | :
     \\________|________)      | :_____O
      \_________/        '.    (__     o
       \            .     |______ `-..O
        \          | '..-'


Full Story (24 comments, 1995 words in story)


[P]
Why I Uninstalled OpenBSD

By Trollaxor in Op-Ed
Thu Oct 06, 2011 at 10:27:29 PM EST
Tags: BSD, OpenBSD, Theo de Raadt, Trollaxor (all tags)

I uninstalled OpenBSD the other day after using it since version 3.1 came out nine years ago. I had grown used to it and contributed too, following the OpenBSD mailing lists and even submitting code a couple of times. But when I began thinking seriously about security, things began to change.

(From http://www.trollaxor.com/2011/10/why-i-uninstalled-openbsd.html)

Full Story (12 comments, 567 words in story)


[P]
Who Will Win the Upcoming "Class War" in America?

By N0574 in Meta
Wed Sep 21, 2011 at 01:11:40 PM EST
Tags: MLP, taxes, class warfare, plutocracy (all tags)

When I heard news of Obama's "tax the rich" plan my first thought was "is it even legal to tax the rich in the USA today?" During the Bush Administration the wealthiest 5% of Americans got a $580 billion tax cut, live far more luxurious lives than the normal citizens, and have gotten a free ride for so long it's almost inconceivable...tax them? Hard even for Democrats to imagine it appears, since the last thing Obama said was look ""This is not class warfare. It's math." This is playing into the American right's anti-government rhetoric, and I believe the President made a serious blunder by putting it that way.

Instead, Obama should try to make it very clear what exactly his plans really are and why we need the rich to pay for these programs. Even if he does, chances are the current band of extremely anti-state conservatives in congress will do everything in its power to block the increases. OTOH, if he succeeds Obama might well get re-elected: killing a $1.3 trillion deficit largely inherited from the Bush administration's reckless spending is an epic "war" indeed.

Full Story (93 comments, 449 words in story)


[P]
9/11 + 10: America still impotent, rapidly forgetting

By krkrbt in Meta
Sun Sep 11, 2011 at 09:52:05 PM EST
Tags: hot shit, mojo, gangrene, energy viagra, box cutters, horsecock (all tags)

Ten years and a day ago, on September 10th 2001, America was hot shit. Our military maintained bases across the planet, and our fleets of supercarrier-backed battle groups maintained our dominance across the world's oceans.

Then 9/11 happened, and the world learned that Big Stud Uncle Sam was completely impotent. Just like a body-builder whose testicles shriveled up from decades of steroid use, America's trillion-dollar-a-year defense industry was completely flaccid when we were attacked with 19 box-cutters.

No matter how many brown people we kill in the Forever War, America will never get its mojo back.

However, 10 years has given us enough perspective to say one thing for sure: while an impotent bodybuilder can take a blue pill to perform, not even Energy Viagra can help with gangrene of the nation's horsecock.

Full Story (31 comments, 308 words in story)


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Poll
Now that Apple is dead, what will you do?
o Sell all Apple stock. Invest in RIM, Nokia, and HP. 6%
o Commit suicide. 5%
o Smear your little, flaccid dick on the window of am Apple Store. 18%
o Feel vindicated for your Xoom purchase. 1%
o Act like a retard on the Internet. 46%
o Buy a phone with a 6-inch screen. Sensible! 5%
o Scoff at how lame Apple is on your knockoff MacBook running a crappy OS X theme on crappy Ubuntu Linux: the Retarded Rabbit version. 15%

Votes: 58 | Comments: 36
Results | Other Polls

Front Page

Sunday, September 11th
o Fuck the 9/11 First Responders (17 comments)

Friday, September 9th
o Michael Calls Lucy (15 comments)

Wednesday, August 10th
o When Should You Shoot A Cop? (24 comments)

Tuesday, August 9th
o London Calling (61 comments)

Sunday, July 24th
o Getting to know Anders Behring Breivik (24 comments)

Thursday, July 14th
o the story of my subincision (19 comments)

Friday, June 3rd
o Ask-K5: The Michael Crawford-o-thon (40 comments)

Tuesday, May 3rd
o Osama bin Ladin; gone but not forgotten. (20 comments)

Wednesday, April 6th
o Gnome 3.0: an early review (19 comments)

Wednesday, February 23rd
o Sex Diaries of an Ogg Frog Developer (23 comments)

Wednesday, January 12th
o Judiciary Abdicated. Republic Dead. All Hail Emperor Obama! (45 comments)

Monday, December 20th
o OFFICIAL NOTICE: SITE CLOSED DUE TO AIDS (62 comments)

Sunday, December 5th
o The New York Times Editorial Board Should Be Executed For Treason (49 comments)

Wednesday, November 24th
o Our lunatic Military (23 comments)
o Dear Prudence (5 comments)

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